Finding Joy This Christmas - and Beyond! ☃️

So, my dear remarkable women… there are only 9 days left to go until Christmas.

If you’ve been limping towards that finish line, I’m with you, and I get it. Christmas, and the end-of-year break has been highly-anticipated and is overall very much needed. 

From the last-minute gift-buying, to the big office party, festive drinks and catch-ups, planning fun activities and cooking food for friends and family - it’s all go, go, go!

We can get caught up in the rat race of one thing after another. In many ways, the end-of-year period can have us in the same task-oriented behavioural loop as the rest of the year. 

And so it's no surprise that Christmas, too as a result can become this huge to-do list. 

Whether you celebrate the festive season or not, this period still marks the end of the year - a key time to reflect and think back over what we’ve taken from 2020; and how we use these learnings to show up in our day-to-day lives from now. 

I get it. This year has been incredibly tough, for some more so than others.

But it’s such a healthy practice for us to work out how we can find and synthesise happiness, even in the darkest times. 

So, I say: open yourself up to experience joy whenever you can, despite the struggles and strains of events that are happening in your life.

As Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl, said in his legendary memoir, ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’, “Everything can be taken from a man [or woman - Ed] but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

It’s in your very power to find joy.

The truth is, we talk a lot about being merry and joyful. The words get thrown around and sung a lot. 

But how often do we actually take the time to pause, take stock and reflect on what it means to be truly joyful during this time and beyond - and how we can be happy throughout the rest of our everyday lives?

It can be hard to pin down. 

I’ve been digging a little deeper and following my curiosity on this.

In doing so, I came across a number of theories, such as those of the psychologist Ed Diener, whose work reveals that happiness often comes from a consistent series of small joys, rather than a singular intense experience of joy. 

At Christmas, or during the holiday period, we may experience this from the number of times we clinked glasses with various friends and family, to the excitement we get from placing the presents under the tree, to tucking into Love Actually for the 126th time and still finding it as hilarious as we did the first time. 

And during the rest of the year, it might be anything else small that gives you cheer in the moment - whether it’s taking a hot bath after a long day at work, giving your best friend a hug or wearing comfortable shoes…or in my case, getting back into my favourite pyjamas. 

While we often assume that our happiness comes from the big wins, like getting a promotion, buying a house or finding the love of our lives - the good news is that this isn’t necessarily the case - and you don’t have to wait for these to experience joy.

When you benchmark your future happiness on a future event, you’re actually setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.

You place yourself at risk of becoming what is known as a 'destination seeker' - never happy in the now, always future-seeking by saying "I'll be happy when....(insert event).” I know I’ve been guilty of this far too many times, with my inner monologue telling me I’ll be happy when I finally hit that next business milestone. And I know, sister, I know, it’s so wrong!  

Over time I’ve learned that things don't give you happiness unless you are able to enjoy the journey now and to be happy within.

So, if you want to start filling yourself up from the inside now, a great method to do so is to train yourself to become more aware of the small joys through writing in a gratitude journal.

In between the ‘go, go, go’ activities this festive period, take 5 minutes in the evening to write down all the things you’ve done during this time that have made you feel good or how you’ve contributed to making others feel good, and in turn how that made you feel. 

Include in there the people you’ve spent time with - and the experiences you’ve shared that you’re grateful for.

Then, make this into a habit that you can continue to carry out well into the New Year.

The truth is, when we stop to be grateful for the positive things that have happened to us; when we pause to smell the roses; then we begin to live a much more meaningful, happier life.

For some of you, journaling might not be your thing, but you can also really increase your joy this year by extending a spark of happiness to others.

If you’ve been one of the lucky few that have managed to keep your job this year and stay afloat in your life, perhaps this is your time to give back to people that are struggling.

You don’t necessarily need to spend money; you can volunteer!

When I was a little girl, my dad would take a few big boxes and fill them up with lots of tinned food. 

As a family, we would donate these to the homeless shelters, so that we could give back to people who were less fortunate. It brought me so much joy - and I look back on those memories fondly. 

I still do this myself every Christmas with my husband.

So, whether it’s doing this, or offering to wrap up gifts for families who otherwise wouldn’t receive any, or even writing out your favourite recipe and sharing this with friends, there are plenty of ways you can give this Christmas with your love, instead of your money.

Of course, these are just some suggestions. But there are so many ways to give back, connect with others and feel a strong sense of purpose in action.

So, whether it’s celebrating the small joys instead of waiting on the massive wins, or practising altruism, you can take your happiness back into your own hands this festive period - and well into 2021. 

Here’s to your happiness.