On a scale of 1 to “argh” where do you fall?

ARGHHH! What is your inner, or literal outer scream trying to communicate? 

Letting it all out and letting it all go tends to be the most comprehensible way to feel better in any situation but when your wound won't stop bleeding, your quick “self-help” book or “self-care” routine is more like that dirty old band-aid that keeps falling off. You keep refusing to replace it when clearly you need stitches, antiseptic solution and quite possibly antibiotics at this point. 

Today, we all seem to be running like guinea pigs on our own individual wheels of frustration, loss, confusion, hopelessness and anxiety amongst other things. Some of us have had enough of jobs, trying to be better, proving ourselves with everything we do and are, our closest relationships or maybe even ourselves. 

The constant self-bickering, whining, dreading and wishing “how do I fix it?” or thinking “maybe Beyonce was right, I should smash cars with a baseball bat” and just let it all out (although, The Remarkable Woman will not be held responsible for any public damage you will cause, friend), means sister, it’s time to rip the bandaid off, burn it and find something that will heal that wound, not barely cover it.

Before you go ahead and say “but -”, know this, if you want to stop feeling this way or being in such a unfulfilling state, sustaining another round of Grey’s Anatomy or a cheap face mask from Kmart isn’t going to help you if you don’t understand your purpose, your aspiration, your needs, your responsibilities, your ideologies, your philosophies, your relationships and their intricacies, the wants and needs of those around you and finally what matters most to you and only you. 

SIDE NOTE: please email me if you’re actually using face masks from Kmart because your skin deserves far more than that. You and I need to chat ASAP. 

Jokes aside, the reality is that if we want to be free from our never-ending guinea pig wheels, we need to look inwardly, reflect and become mindful.

This week I spoke to Rajkumari "Raji", one of our Executive Circle members, and CEO & Founder of Taste of Mindfulness whose mission is to teach all of us to show compassion to ourselves through the thought-provoking art of inner peace, tranquility and discovery. 

Her journey and experience in both life and in professional contexts is incredibly inspiring and will make you serious about pursuing yourself. Raji explains her personal battle and realisation like this:

“I was driven, I didn't even take a breath to feel my pain because I wanted to be strong and fight it; which is necessary as women, we need to put out our voices to be heard, but how we do it without losing energy is what matters…coming back with a new self and handling it all from a place of calmness and centeredness, but still strong”

She then went on to explain what led her to her pain:

“I looked at my mother and thought, oh God, I don’t want to be a housewife like my mother. She doesn't have any freedom, she has to ask her husband for everything...I want my own economic freedom, I want to stand on my own. And then, I went in the other direction to stand on my own; strong, got a career. 

And my daughter looked at this woman (me), an engineer, who was always busy with a career, who didn’t have much time because her career and her identity which was ‘to stand strong in this man’s world, proving myself as a woman’ you know…knew she didn't want to become an engineer…and went she’s not there for me.” 

“I had to grow as an individual even before I could connect with my daughter, or a partner…”

Like Raji was, there’s a lot of us in similar situations or contextually varying circumstances but there’s a commonality in it all...humanity, our humanness. The balance that Raji found within herself allowed her to create more meaningful, wholesome and honest relationships. Her philosophy is based on science too, explaining that the entirety of Earth, every creature and every being is made up of the very elements listed on our year 7 periodic table and only those elements, ever.

“When I look at you, it’s the same matter you and I are made out of. How can we be so angry at a person and how can we lose that we come from the same matter? You are unique in your composition”. Taking that, she then added that we need to all learn to validate not only ourselves but the ”unique expression” of those we care about. 

“I have to validate that even if I don’t like it”. 

So next time you even try to launch into an argument with “I just think it’s funny how”, hold your tongue and allow your loved one to validate their expression!

At this point I thought “surely that’s all the lightbulbs that she’s lit in my zillenial brain” but no, Raji, the wise soul she is, went on to tie in our modern complexities of being a successful woman in 2021. 

“We as women are not in an equal playing field within society. There has been generational silence, there have been careers not attained, boxed into certain roles, so as women, we are constantly reacting to that world. That was a big step for me to understand. 

I am constantly reacting to the world, it’s not who I am.

As a woman you have to put in 200%, as a woman of colour you have to put in 300% and as a single woman of colour you have to put in 400% and at 400%, here I am, I have no time for my relationships.

We are constantly reacting, is there a way that we can step back?”

To which she iconically countered the issue of reacting with:

“...I am proving myself but in my own way.”

And oh boy! She’s definitely done so with such empathy, intelligence and thoughtfulness with Taste of Mindfulness. You see, before Taste of Mindfulness, Raji wanted to become a “compassionate leader” but just “didn’t know how to do it” and so she joined our very own Executive Circle program giving testament to it with:

“...that has been an amazing journey. Where I am today? The Taste of Mindfulness was not even there when I joined. 

That journey took me into all the vision, mission, goal setting, the capability assessments, my branding and then each step of the way something shifted in my saying, “hey, what if I do this?” It just brought that self within me out. That’s what TRW did. 

Taste of mindfulness is like The Executive Circle but in a different way - a different journey of self-inquiry within you. That’s what I want to give to everyone.”

I think Raji sums it up so well. That’s exactly what we both want to give to you. Realising yourself has such an intuitive power to bring so much good change and progress and we want that for you, always. 

Here’s to the Taste of Mindfulness and incredible Raji! You’re remarkable. 

Be sure you check out her upcoming courses, programs and her free guided meditations. There’s so much more on the way from Raji for our TRW community so sit tight and watch this space.